I woke up from a weird dream, staring at the naked ceiling of the bedroom I shared with my sisters. Still Laying in my bed, trying to make sense of the dream I had, I noticed my older sister was asleep next to me too. I looked all around my room as if to take a mental photo of what would stay in my mind as a milestone for the rest of my life. It was the year 1980, our bedroom rug was a shaggy blue with a mixture of white, it was comfortable to sit on when we watched our 10" black n white tv, that we had to use a pliers to change the channel, I don't remember what ever happened to the knob that was supposed be there. It was an awkward silence in the apt, which was very unusual for the simple fact we lived in N.Y., the city that never sleeps. Our tiny apartment was gloomy and empty and cold. I stayed starring at the ceiling until I heard the front door open, I slowly turned my body to see who was coming down the long hallway to our room that led from the front door. Time seemed to slowly move then, it was my stepfather, he had his hands over his eyes, he was sobbing. My sister woke up and turned in the bed also to see who it was, we were waiting all nite, we were alone all nite. "She's gone." He spoke with a soft voice yet I hear it over n over in my head in slow motion harsh, as if a monster was speaking. "She's gone." He kept repeating over and over. "What?!" My sister shouted back at him, I had no idea what he was saying, thought maybe he was drunk again. "She's gone. Your mom, she's not here, she's gone." He continued to explain his mumbling of events. My sister flew off the bed and headed for the phone, I sat up in the bed with confusion of what was happening. The night before my mom left for the hospital to have our baby brother, and I kept looking behind my stepfather for her to be behind him holding a baby, but she wasn't behind him, and my sister was on the phone calling all her friends crying hysterically, I thought it was funny how she was acting like a crazy girl. The next time I saw my mother, she was wearing her white beautiful laced wedding dress laying in what I thought was a white rocket getting ready to take her to the moon, that's what I get for watching E.T. It wasn't a rocket or spaceship or anything like that, it was her coffin, she laid there looking like she was in a deep sleep and I couldn't wake her up, her lock of curls laid on her shoulders and I touched her hair, I loved her hair, but I couldn't see her feet, it was the covered by the second part of the coffin, I lifted it and saw a small bulge covered between her legs, I lifted the cloth and saw a naked body of a small person with a third leg. It was my baby brother. My mom died giving birth to him, and he died with her...... That was 30 years ago today, Mom died 3 days before her 32nd birthday. I was only 5 yrs old......